Shadow
by RodaRolla2
Summary: Don reflects on the girl who took his heart and left New York with it and her shadow left behind. Don/Danny. Fem!Danny Song fic: Shadow- Sam Tsui


**Bags all packed, make sure you remember everything.  
No looking back no more, not for anything.  
This is what you wanted, isn't it?  
Clear it out just like you never been.  
What's a goodbye good for?  
**

I sighed as the rain poured down on me as I walked to the subway station. I didn't care anymore that I was getting soaked. Not since she left. Left me and left New York. I miss her. I miss her smile, her laugh. I miss the way her eyes shine and sparkle when she's happy or amused. She moved months ago down south. I boarded the subway. Why did she leave? She had people around that cared for her. I loved her. Why did she leave? I got off the train at my stop and walked through the rain to my apartment. I walked in and looked around. It seemed so empty now that she wasn't here. Why did she leave? Why did I let her leave?

**Anyway, There's nothing left of you to remind me,  
But somehow you're still standing behind me.  
I'm trying hard to forget you,  
But my empty walls won't let me let you go.  
When you took it all you forgot your shadow,  
You say you wish me well without you,  
But something about you tells me that you know oh~ ohohoh~**

She took all her stuff when she left, so I don't know why it feels like she's still here. I keep trying to forget her like she said, but I can't let her go. I feel empty without her. I physically can't let her go. She forgot her shadow when she left. I walked into the bedroom and remembered all the memories here. All of the love-makings, when I held her after her brother was put into a coma, when she refused to leave my bed-ridden side after the bomb, all of the laughs, the crying, and even the fights. She wished me well when she left, but I think she knows how I'm feeling now. I think she knows.

**When you took it all you forgot,  
Your shadow~ your shadow~  
When you took it all you forgot your shadow  
Your shadow~ your shadow~ ohoh ohohoh~**

She left her shadow when she left with my heart. I can feel her shadow everywhere. At home, at the lab, at the precinct, at Sullivan's, and on the street. It doesn't matter where, I feel her with me. Why did she leave? Why did she have to leave her shadow behind? It's been dull and boring around here without her snark and wit. Why did she have to leave? Why did she leave her shadow behind, but took everything else?

**Hide all your photographs,  
But I can feel you watch me,  
How long does your memory last,  
It's time I ought be  
Moving on and getting over you,  
I better looks like I'm not even trying to,  
Here all alone, my past on the walls.**

I hid the pictures we had and of her, but I can still feel her watching me. How long will her memory of me last? I should be moving on and I need to. I don't even look like I'm trying. I feel alone, except for her shadow dogging my steps. I miss her so much. I love her. How can I move on, when she has my heart in God knows where? How can I forget her, when she's my entire world? My sister's even worried about me.

**With nothing left of you to remind me~  
So why are you still standing behind me~  
**

Why is she still here, haunting my footsteps, when there's nothing of her left here? Why did she have to go? Why did she have to take my heart with her? Why does she still stand behind me, when she's long gone?

**I'm trying hard to forget you,  
But my empty walls won't let me let you go,  
When you took it all you forgot your shadow.  
You say you wish me well without you,  
But something about you tells me that you know oh~ ohohoh~**

I'm trying to forget her, but I just can't let her go. She left her shadow, making it impossible. I physically can't let her go. She left her shadow when she took everything and my heart. She wished me well when she left, but I bet my badge she knows how I'm feeling right now. Sam tries to get me out and do things with her, to distract me from the hole she left. I know Sam must hate her, for hurting her brother like this. If our roles had been reversed, I know I would hate the guy for doing this to her. But how can I explain to her that she shouldn't hate her? How can I explain that something had been wrong with Danny for months prior to her leaving? How can I explain to her that she might have been running from something or someone and I hadn't made it clear that she could trust me with whatever was going on? That I could protect her?

**When you took it all you forgot,  
Your shadow~ your shadow~  
When you took it all you forgot your shadow  
Your shadow~ your shadow~ ohoh ohohoh~~**

When she left with everything and my heart, she left her shadow. Her shadow haunts me everywhere. Why did she leave? Was it because of me? Was it something else? Why? Why did she take everything and my heart, but leave her shadow?

**It's always there, too close, too much,  
The shape of something I can't touch,  
I turn, and find the shadows grown~**

She's always there. Her shadow is too close. Too much to bear. She's always there. I can see her. I just can't touch her. Every time I turn around, her shadow's grown. I see her, but I can't touch. I sense her, but I can't feel her. Can't hold her again, kiss her again, I wish she had taken her shadow with her and spared me this torture.

**Those empty eyes I begged to stay,  
Are watching me from yesterday,  
You can leave me,  
Can you leave me alone~?**

I begged her to stay. I begged her not to go. I see her eyes watching me from yesterday. She leaves me, but can't leave me alone? Why did she leave? Why did she leave, but left her shadow behind? I wished she would have stayed, but she didn't. Now, I wish she would come back, or her shadow leaves too. I can't deal with her shadow always hovering around me.

**I'm trying hard to forget you,  
But my empty walls won't let me let you go~ let me goooo~  
You say you wish me well without you,  
But something about you tells me that you know ohoh~**

I'm trying to forget her, I really am, but I just can't. I can't let her go. It's all because her fucking shadow won't leave me alone. She wished me well when she left. You know how I'm feeling now, don't you Danni? You know how much this is hurting me, don't you? Does it hurt you? Do you even care?

**When you took it all you forgot,  
Your shadow~ your shadow~  
When you took it all you forgot your shadow~  
Your shadow~ your shadow~ oh ohohohoh~**

When you left, Danni, you took everything and you took my heart. But why, Danni, why did you forget your shadow? Why did you leave? Why did you leave behind your shadow? To hurt me? Did I do something to hurt you? Is this payback for failing you somehow? Did I fail you? Did I not protect you enough from someone? From something? Please tell me, why did you leave your shadow behind, if not to hurt me? Why, Danni, please, why? Why did you leave me, Danni, why did you forget your shadow?

**When you took it all you forgot,  
Your shadow~ your shadow~  
Bags all packed, make sure you remember everything.**

When you left with everything and my heart, you forgot your shadow. Please take it back, unless you're on your way back to me. Your shadow haunts me everywhere I go. Sam's worried about me. Mac's worried about me. Stella's worried about me. Hawkes is worried about me. Adam's worried about me. Sid's worried about me. My boss is worried about me. Hell, even Lindsay's worried about me. Everything of yours is packed and gone. Make sure you remember everything. Please come get your shadow. Remember as you're down wherever the hell south you are that I, Donald Flack Jr., love you, Danielle Messer. Remember me or come back and get your shadow.

**A/N:**__ Okay. I have not nearly cried while writing in years, since I wrote 'Prisoner Germerica' where I actually cried. Damn you Flack. Damn you Danny. So, **I AM BACK ON !** I have been hanging around on Archive of Our Own for a while now, since my new laptop doesn't have Word. I'm on the family PC right now. I'm sorry for not updating any of my other stories, but I have no idea where I was going with them now. Perhaps I'll get back into the mojo soon. The song I used in this story is 'Shadows' by Sam Tsui. Beautiful song. I recommend giving it a listen. There might be a Danielle Messer version of this posted later. I have ideas for that as well as a duet story for Flack and Danni. Oh, he's talking about a genderbent version of Danny Messer, btw, that left him and New York City.


End file.
